We have all been in the situation, attending a party when you are less than familiar with other attendees. Either you’re the ‘plus one’ or a friend you were going with suddenly backed out and now you left to mingle with strangers for the night. Here are a few helpful tips to get conversations moving and make you the life of the party!
How do I start the conversation?
Although this seems like the most daunting part, it is essential to put yourself forward at parties. If you go into the situation with closed off body language or a hesitant attitude due to nerves, you may appear as if you do not want to converse with anyone at all.
Be open to conversations at every opportunity, whether it is over an interesting canapé, a rushed introduction to a mutual acquaintance or you simply find yourself standing next to a stranger amongst a circle of friends.
Photo: Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'
Conversation starters:
If you do not know anything about the person you are hoping to converse with, it is always helpful if you ask them how they know the party’s guest of honor. This can open up an easy conversation as you have established a common connection. Further to this you can simply follow the ever-wise Dame Elisabeth Murdoch’s advice when she is faced with meeting someone new and attempting to hold a conversation.
In an interview with Andrew Denton she expressed the art of holding someone’s attention is to simply, “Ask the man what he does. If you ask your next-door neighbour what he does it flows out. You can’t stop him.” This is a great way to find out more about your new acquaintance and find an area of connection with what they do for a living to start a deeper conversation.
Listen up:
Part of having a successful conversation with new people includes being a good listener. Try to use open body language when engaging in conversation, keep your arms uncrossed, your body turned to the person speaking and hold eye contact. It is important to regularly engage in what someone is saying otherwise conversations will fade out and you will be left with awkward silences because they will not think you are interested in what they have to say.
Rotate the room:
The art of party mingling is to try to speak to a variety of people throughout your night. Just because you have had an easy conversation with someone does not mean you have to stay by his or her side. Try to circulate the room as best you can, as the best party guest is one who is open and friendly. A great place to meet people is by the food or drinks table, as conversation over the products can be short and sweet.
Also try to join in a group’s conversation by standing next to someone you don’t know. This can be easier if you do know somebody else close by, but can also help initiate a new conversation. Also try to include others in your conversations, it may be someone you already know or simply met five minutes previous, but it will demonstrate your willingness and you inviting personality.
Things to avoid:
There are many hazards that can occur in a party atmosphere which are easy to overlook, especcially as you feel more confident in your mingling skills.
- Try to avoid eating and drinking too much, although drinking can give you confidence, you may regret some of the things you say and do the next morning as you are more likely to put your foot in your mouth when your guard is down (think Christmas party disasters!)
- When making conversation, attempt to avoid any controversial topics that may offend easily such as religious views and politics, although these can generate deep conversations, there’s a good chance that someone will have a different view to yours and this may cause upset.
- If you make friends with someone on the night, avoid any gossip talk as fate will have it, they are probably related to or in a relationship with the person you are talking about. Plus it is simply bad manners!
- Do not talk about yourself too much; people will want to hear about your opinions and experiences but they do not want to hear your entire life story for the duration of the night. Keep asking others questions and engaging them so that the conversation is shared between you.
Photo, right: Gossip Girl
Above all, when placed in a daunting situation where you are forced to meet new people, keep a friendly demeanor and be open to talking to anyone in the room. People will respect and remember you if you are confident, polite and attentive during conversation.